Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
