I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
