pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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