i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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