the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
