Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
