I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
