You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
