You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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