So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
