Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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