I think I am morally bankrupt
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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