Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
