I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
