piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
