Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
