I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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