I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it because I queefed?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
