Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
