It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Randomize
