Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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