I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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