I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
