What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
