Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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