i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
