I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
