Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
