Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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