Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
