Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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