Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
