I think I am morally bankrupt
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
