I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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