dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
