that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
