theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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