420 ftw
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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