At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
