I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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