she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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