youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
