I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
