True but thats because hes a fetus.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
