I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
