so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
