Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
