dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
