i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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