I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
