In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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