So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
