So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
