sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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