Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
